The Secret, but NOT Posessed, Diary of VOW aged 22
by Kaykos
Summary: Ginny's diary... need I say more? She lets out her true feelings about everyone, a bit shocking actually. She's snarky, which probably accounts for Malfoy being her boss, wait... what?!? SPOILERS 1-5 R/R


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August 3, 2002 8:00am

Dear Diary,

Just got you, well… apparently otherwise something else would have been written in you. Er- anyway. My name is Virginia Oma Weasley, yes VOW, my brothers like to think it stands for Vexatious Old Woman. Bah to them.

Yes, well, I'll rant about them later. I'm about 21, or is it 22? Can't even bloody remember, note to self: lay off the fire-whiskey. 

I have shoulder length, orange-red, curly hair, and chocolate brown eyes much like the rest of the world. My height is really very short… about five foot one in American standards and have to usually end up wearing shoes with enormous heels. 

I don't like chocolate ice cream, but love chocolate cake and despise muffins. Coffee is what usually gets me through my days; not that boring old stuff, Butterbeer. 

I don't enjoy ice skating or skiing or any winter sport. In fact, I don't really enjoy any sport. Just like to laze at home and stuff gallon after gallon if ice cream in my mouth. I know… it's not healthy, but at least I'll die happy.

Had a horrid childhood, probably because I am the youngest in a family of seven. Brothers (from oldest to youngest) include: Bill-annoyingly stubborn with hair and earring. Charlie-down to earth at times but still whack-o… works with Dragons. Percy- an overgrown pouf who thinks much of himself and still refuses to talk to us because he's afraid we'd rub it in his face that we chose the right side during the War. Fred- A jokester who gets on my nerves with his never-ending pranks. George- twin, identical to Fred in every way. Lastly there's Ron- Jealous twit who can't get over he will never be more famous than his best friend, Harry Potter.

Harry was my childhood crush for four years; then I realized I had no chance and dated every other male (other than brothers) in sight who weren't (a) Slytherin or (b) horridly ugly. Yes, I was a shallow little girl. I much rather liked Dean Thomas (fellow Gryffindor, a year above me), though I think I liked Ron making a big hullabaloo about it more than Dean himself. I love attention.

Then there's Hermione Granger. Thought she was friend most of school years, but realized that her bonds with ex-crush Harry and brother Ron were deeper than anything I could try to get in with- nice girl though. Always has the answer to potion ingredients or something useful like that.

Most of my life I tried to fit in with the goody-goodies and strove to be perfect. Some people actually bought it, my natural talent at everything. Like in my fourth year, I performed the Bat-Bogey curse on Malfoy easily and all were in awe. If only they knew I stayed up late every night practicing curses and hexes just on the off chance an occasion such as that one would arrive.

I was possessed in first year by Dark Lord. Made me kill bloody chickens. I'd say he was a pouf too, most of his followers were male. Wouldn't be surprised if they blew him at rare occasions to be forgiven for various things. He didn't even lay a singly bony finger on my Virgin little self back then. As I said, he was a homo. He was killed by the dear Harry Potter in my sixth year, which resulted in peace and happiness throughout the world, yadda yadda yadda.

You will soon see Harry is bloody perfect and worshiped by all.

I don't really think there's much else to go on about, just got immensely bored at 8 in the bleeding morning. OH SHIT! Must dash off to incredibly boring job only to be ordered around by Blaise Zabini, more like Blaise Shag-Me-I'm-Easy.

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August 3, 2002 9:00 am

Dear Diary,

Am already getting annoyed by writing the date and "dear diary", so from now on, it's nixed, finito, gone. Told you I was lazy… or did I? No matter.

HAHAHAHAHA! Laughed in Zabini's face today when she tried to make me stamp seals on letters that would be going out that day. Almost got my bony arse fired too, but that's all right. Still have job and pride, not to mention good looks.

I'm actually writing under my tiny little desk, pretending to be working. Fudge, Shag-Me is coming… 

…ah, all better. She didn't see, probably too busy throwing her golden-blonde hair over her shoulder to attract the attention of could-be-sex-god-but-loves-work-too-much-Malfoy.

So… she's not without taste; that doesn't mean she's not horrid. I swear, he's shagged her about twenty times and she's not yet pissed she hasn't gotten a promotion. Must be a blonde thing, always heard stupidity was mixed with the blonde gene.

Anyway, damned Malfoy is looking my way. He's sure to fire me just because my last name's Weasley; I'd hate to see what he'd do if he saw me writing in a diary while I was supposed to be working. Meep, he's coming over. Will write later.

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3:00pm

Lunch break. Finally. Can you say: Work's a bitch? I can, because it is. Malfoy started shuffling around my desk, even in my bureau for no reason. Okay, maybe there was a reason, but it's not relevant! He's a prat and that's that. Back to his invasion.

"Er- what are you doing?" I asked feebly, unsure whether he was going to kill me or laugh at me. The look on his face made me want to crawl into a hole and die.

"Hand it over Weasley," he sneered, holding out his hand expectantly.

I stared at him intently, an innocent look plastered to my face. "Hand over what? My business schedule?" I blinked, my lips curving into a pouty position. He looked squashed and disappointed. Ha! I am a genius!

A wave of triumph flooded me as I picked up the paper, showing him the little markings I had quickly scribbled moments before.

He growled at me. "Work on that hand writing will you?" Humph. Some people are just sore losers.

Whoopie! My coffee is here. Mmmm, as I said, it's the only thing that gets me through my day. This little Muggle shop right outside of Diagon Alley is quite nice. It's small, and practically no one comes in here. It's like my personal little hide away. Honestly, I come 'round here even when I'm not working.

Ooh! The coffee has a sprig of nutmeg. Yummy. I think my waiter likes me. Oh gods, he's looking over at me. Must look calm and composed. I am a successful businesswoman. I am strong and beautiful. I should attract the eyes of men all around. But this one is really, very cute; must be my lucky day!

I hope it's not too terribly unattractive to be scribbling in my diary while someone is trying to make eye contact with me. Have a nagging feeling in pits of stomach that it is. I shall look around a bit. Yes. Seem unattached and confident. Men seem to like that.

Shit, shit, shit, shit! Was supposed to be back at work ten minutes ago. Gorgeous waiter must wait. I will just get up gracefully, stride towards door, and pull an easy. Flick my hair. Oof, double shit. Just tripped. Why does nothing work out for me?

****

10 pm

Just got back from being worked like a bloody dog. For being 'cheeky' I got to run around, delivering Malfoy's messages. I'm not even high enough on the totem pole to be his fucking secretary, why doesn't he just make Zabini do it? I know she'd willingly lick my poo off his shoes if he asked her to- and that's saying a lot… she doesn't even like me.

Don't know why I still have a job there. No one likes me, with the exception of photographer Colin Creevy and only-there-because-he's-sexy Seamus Finnigan. In fact, we're the only ex-Gryffindors working in the whole bleeding place.

Ah, Seamus. Now there's a hunk of hot and steamy blonde. Don't even know what he does, all I know is that he's there. Don't think he's written any articles lately… maybe he's the male underwear model for Madam Pheobe's new shop that keeps showing up randomly on pages, and that's why they keep him on. Too many witches now a days just buy the paper in hope of seeing the pictures, not that I blame them.

I work there and only buy the paper for the same reasons. Still am shallow, only just a bit older. 

Crap, was I supposed to be writing an article for something? I think I am, ah well… I'll just get sacked and work at the Quibbler. Won't be too bad, old classmate works there. Looney Luna. She took over for her dad when he died, poor thing. Lost her mum during her childhood and lost her dad only last year. I feel a bit sorry for her.

What was I supposed to be writing about? I really don't want to get sacked. I'd lose my already-tiny flat and then will have to sell clothes to various people to get money for an even smaller place. Wah, this is not funny anymore. I don't want to work for Lovegood.

Looks like I'll just have to sift through all the piles of clothes on the floor to see if there's a scrap at hinting what I was supposed to be writing about. Maybe tomorrow I'll get moved up to advice columnist since Hannah got a new job and then I won't have to worry about stupid article on magic carpets.

AH HA! I remembered! Gah, what a daft subject to write about. Perhaps I'll somehow add in Hermione's new bookshop. But how do you tie in bookshops with magic carpets? Only the Lord above in heaven knows. Must get cracking, 'twas assigned weeks ago and still haven't even started.

****

10:30 PM

Maybe if I do something else it will come to me. Yes, yes… that's it! I'll look out the window at the beautiful sunset. 

****

10:31 PM

Fuck. Sun has already set. Just my luck. I'll just read a book. Get some inspiration from other good authors.

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Aug 4 1:23

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIT! Fell asleep reading a classic Muggle novel. Still don't have craps worth written on my parchment. Will just bullshit my way through it.

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7:55

Hurrah! Is done. Think I shall just lie down for a little nap before work. Sleep sounds so good right no-

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9:30

DAMNIT ALL! Overslept. Malfoy and Zabini are going to have fun arguing which one is going to kill me first. Will just gather up things quickly and apparate over there. Yes… sounds like a good plan.

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9:40

Was at work ten minutes before I realized had not changed clothes. Hope Creevy will do a good job covering for me while I fix my robes.

Robes are new and clean and I'm back in my tiny desk in the corner of the building. At least I have my own cubicle and don't have to share it like the photographers do. Poor Colin, he has to share it with a nutter named Florence Goodsby. She's not all that great if you ask me. That's probably why I get stuck with her most of the time.

Malfoy's coming over. Am scared. Very scared. Help!


End file.
